Poopies
No. Don't worry. I'm not writing a post about that topic. It's just the way I feel at the moment, a more PG-13 version of it.
As you may (or may not) have surmised, I haven't been posting a lot. Most of it is due to my depression rearing its ugly head again. For about two years I've been mostly functional thanks to that miracle of modern pharmacology, Lexapro. Now that miracle is fading and my brain is being stubborn. I've always developed tolerances to medications, some faster than others. This time I was hoping the Lexapro would be different since it lasted a heck of a lot longer, but alas that is not the case.
I went to my regular doctor first. I knew it was my depression causing the fatigue, the aches, and the pains, but I wanted to make sure that it wasn't something physical. He did a plethora of tests (sorry, I love that word) to discover I am completely normal. Well, at least physically. Hell, even my cholesterol was at normal levels, something it hasn't been in ages.
Next was an appointment with my shrink. I love this guy. Besides the fact that he's really nice (and very cute), he understands my need to be proactive in my treatment. I will not tolerate certain things with medications. Yes, I can live with weight gain but I will not tolerate feeling like a zombie. That sort of thing. The biggest problem is that I have literally been on every single anti-depressant out on the market with the exception of MAOI's. I won't do those not because of the side effects or the fact that it reacts with almost every single med out there. It's because I wouldn't be allowed to eat cheese. Without cheese, I have no pleasure in life. Need the cheese.
So this time around, we're going with add-ons to the Lexapro. Right now he has me on Deplin. It is supposed to help my brain process certain chemicals. It is a "medical food" rather than a drug so it has no side effects, which is nice. However, my insurance company won't pay for it. Bah.
We're giving this a couple of weeks to work. If it doesn't, I'm going on that grossly over-advertised medication Abilify. That has had some amazing response in some people but (as you may have heard) it has a lot of side effects. The most common one my doc has come across is restlessness. Ya, like I need that. If ADHD existed when I was a kid I would've been the poster child for it. This would not be a good side effect. However, if it can get me out of my funk and is my only viable option, then I have to suck it up.
I do need to do something though. Today I'm recovering from a bad episode that started Sunday night but peaked last night. Emotionally, I'm ok as long as I avoid any stress but we all know how easy that is. :P
Next week I'm going down to Florida to visit my parents. It's technically a vacation but if you knew my mom, you would understand why it isn't a vacation. My dad turned 80 yesterday and I really want to spend some quality time with him since I haven't seen him in over a year. Maybe while I'm down there my mom will ease up on her nagging and allow me to rest. One can always hope.
As you may (or may not) have surmised, I haven't been posting a lot. Most of it is due to my depression rearing its ugly head again. For about two years I've been mostly functional thanks to that miracle of modern pharmacology, Lexapro. Now that miracle is fading and my brain is being stubborn. I've always developed tolerances to medications, some faster than others. This time I was hoping the Lexapro would be different since it lasted a heck of a lot longer, but alas that is not the case.
I went to my regular doctor first. I knew it was my depression causing the fatigue, the aches, and the pains, but I wanted to make sure that it wasn't something physical. He did a plethora of tests (sorry, I love that word) to discover I am completely normal. Well, at least physically. Hell, even my cholesterol was at normal levels, something it hasn't been in ages.
Next was an appointment with my shrink. I love this guy. Besides the fact that he's really nice (and very cute), he understands my need to be proactive in my treatment. I will not tolerate certain things with medications. Yes, I can live with weight gain but I will not tolerate feeling like a zombie. That sort of thing. The biggest problem is that I have literally been on every single anti-depressant out on the market with the exception of MAOI's. I won't do those not because of the side effects or the fact that it reacts with almost every single med out there. It's because I wouldn't be allowed to eat cheese. Without cheese, I have no pleasure in life. Need the cheese.
So this time around, we're going with add-ons to the Lexapro. Right now he has me on Deplin. It is supposed to help my brain process certain chemicals. It is a "medical food" rather than a drug so it has no side effects, which is nice. However, my insurance company won't pay for it. Bah.
We're giving this a couple of weeks to work. If it doesn't, I'm going on that grossly over-advertised medication Abilify. That has had some amazing response in some people but (as you may have heard) it has a lot of side effects. The most common one my doc has come across is restlessness. Ya, like I need that. If ADHD existed when I was a kid I would've been the poster child for it. This would not be a good side effect. However, if it can get me out of my funk and is my only viable option, then I have to suck it up.
I do need to do something though. Today I'm recovering from a bad episode that started Sunday night but peaked last night. Emotionally, I'm ok as long as I avoid any stress but we all know how easy that is. :P
Next week I'm going down to Florida to visit my parents. It's technically a vacation but if you knew my mom, you would understand why it isn't a vacation. My dad turned 80 yesterday and I really want to spend some quality time with him since I haven't seen him in over a year. Maybe while I'm down there my mom will ease up on her nagging and allow me to rest. One can always hope.
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