A Crazy Cat's Life

...and I'm a coffeeholic. Or is that coffaholic? Whatever. I'm addicted to coffee. Back in my college days, you would find me with a cigarette in my mouth and a cup of coffee clenched in one hand. I gave up the cigarettes many, many years ago but I can't seem to kick the coffee habit. Well, when I quit smoking I did quit coffee as well but that didn't last very long. Now, I'm just as pathetic as I was back then in terms of my java fixes. For example, you know you're in rough shape when you're mad at the person in front of you at Dunkin' Donuts for taking so damn long with their order. I was sitting there thinking "just give me the coffee and no one gets hurt." It was worse afterwards. As I'm drinking my coffee I am writing poetic prose in my head about how coffee is ambrosia, the nectar of the gods. Sad, isn't it? Maybe I should just quit coffee all together. Ya right.

I was having a good day today. I really was. My classes went well, the day was sun-shiney bright. It was a day that brought a smile to my face. That is, until I went to the supermarket. There is an unwritten rule of etiquette at the self-checkout lanes. If there is no divider for you to use, you wait until the person is done bagging their stuff before you start scanning yours. This way, your stuff doesn't start piling up with their stuff. It's just common courtesy. Right? Well, there I am bagging all my stuff when a man comes up into my lane and starts scanning all his stuff. If it was one or two things I might have let it pass but he had a whole basketful and I still had at least five bags of my stuff to pack. I looked up and said politely "you know, it's common courtesy to wait until the person in front of you is done bagging before you start scanning your stuff." Please note, I wasn't rude or sarcastic. Some people just don't realize that. Well this jer...

I love the timing from the National Weather Service... Winter Storm Warning ...WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 8 AM EDT THISMORNING... ...WINTER STORM WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM 8 AM THIS MORNING TO 8 AM EDT SATURDAY... A WINTER STORM WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM 8 AM THIS MORNING TO 8 AM EDT SATURDAY. A WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 8 AM EDT THIS MORNING. STEADY PRECIPITATION IS MOSTLY JUST EAST OF THE AREA EARLY THIS MORNING, BUT WILL DEVELOP WESTWARD AS THE MORNING PROGRESSES. PERIODS OF SNOW AND SLEET WILL CONTINUE FROM MID MORNING INTO TONIGHT...AND POSSIBLY INTO EARLY SATURDAY. SNOWFALL RATES WILL BE RELATIVELY LIGHT, MOSTLY LESS THAN AN INCH PER HOUR...BUT STORM TOTAL ACCUMULATIONS TODAY AND TONIGHT ARE FORECAST TO BE 8 TO 12 INCHES, WITH SOME OF THIS ACCUMULATION IN THE FORM OF SLEET. THE HEAVIEST SNOWFALL WILL LIKELY FALL FROM THIS AFTERNOON INTO THE OVERNIGHT PERIOD. BECAUSE OF THE RECENT WARMTH, SNOW MAY BE SLOW TO ACCUMULATE AT FIRST....

I love teaching. I really do. To be able to impart my knowledge on the youth of America...well, you know that spiel. There is one thing I hate though. I'll be going through my lecture, having a good time and feeling great, when all of a sudden I realize that "hey, I'm standing here in front of a class with 35 pairs of eyes focusing on me." The blood drains from my face, I start to sweat, and the panic sets in. Oh god . Now what do I do? This happened to me today during my Western Civilization class. I had a nice lecture going on the Minoans when BOOM! Realization sets in. If my students had been paying attention, which I hope they were, they literally would've seen me turn white. It's a hard experience to explain to someone who hasn't been there. Yes, we all get nervous speaking in front of crowds but it's different when you do it every day. It's like I've been transported back in time to 5th grade when I had to give a presentation ...

My students in New York joke with me all the time about how bad New Jersey drivers are. I hate to admit it but it's true. Just today alone I almost got into two accidents because of two complete idiots behind the wheel. First, I'm merging onto Route 17 and I have just enough room to get in front of a car without actually cutting him off. The guy actually speeds up when he sees me trying to merge, flies around me, and then cuts me off to get off at the exit. This is all within a space of like 100 feet and I had to go from like 45mph to almost a complete stop. Why the guy couldn't just slow down a wee bit is beyond me. Instead, he had to get there first and almost caused an accident. Then again, Route 17 is typically like that and is to be expected. What I didn't expect was the idiot tow truck driver who ran a red light and almost hit me. I've learned in New Jersey to not hit the gas the minute the light turns green because "yellow" seems to mean ...

I sprained my ankle a couple of months ago so I've been seeing my podiatrist on a regular basis. After a rather nasty shatter ankle about 10 years back, I learned never to go to an orthopedist for any injury from the shin down--long story. My current podiatrist is a really nice guy but I think he has a serious OCD. He likes to scrape feet. I realize that it's part of his job but I'm seeing him for my ankle. When I went into his office the first time after my injury, he said "well let's look at your feet since you're here" with this big grin on his face. After a few "tsk-tsks" and a couple of "uh-huhs," he pulled out this mini scapel and started going after my feet. I know women love to get pedicures and have our feet pampered. Not surprisingly, I fall into that category. However, my podiatrist's tools look a hell of a lot more sinister than those you find in a nail salon. All I could think of was "please don't cut o...

...who don't know how to drive in the snow. I lived in western NY for a number of years, where the towns up there don't plow unless there's a minimum of four inches. Having a car that could be picked up by four people easily, it is understandable that I quickly learned how to drive in the snow. To me, unless they are predicting a minimum of six inches, I'll go out without any problems. That was until I moved to New Jersey. For some reason, people in New Jersey can't drive in the snow. You get two types of drivers. The first are those who really freak out when the first flake drops and drive 10 mph. Yes, you should slow down in the snow. Common sense dictates that. However, you should not go so slow that people behind you get frustrated and take the risky move of passing you. That causes accidents. The other ones are the crazies in the fancy SUVs who think they are invincible and drive 10 mph over the speed limit. They don't seem to realize that four-whe...