A Crazy Cat's Life

I know in my last post I said I was going to continue on with my story the next day.  Then, life happened. Ever since last winter, I have had fatigue issues.  I thought they were tied in to my depression as that tends to be the main way it expresses itself.  Also, I had been under a shit ton of stress between taking care of my father-in-law's needs and my own.  When I had the breakdown in late February/early March, it reinforced that idea. Fast forward to this summer.  I developed a new thing: my hands fell asleep way too easily.  It is mainly my left hand with the pinkie and ring fingers.  However, the rest of my hand gets it too and so does my right hand.  I saw my ortho thinking that it was the damn herniated discs in my neck giving me issues again.  He did not think so.  He was positive it was nerve issues in my arms from spending too much time at my desk, keeping my arms bent.  He gave me some exercises and sent me on my wa...

My last post got me thinking about some of the things I have done as an adjunct over the years.  I just realized that I am going into my 12th year of teaching at the college level.  By the gods, has it really been that long?  In that time, I have done some amazing things and yet some questionable ones.  Nothing that truly violates morals or ethics but more of the "why the fuck did I agree to this?" sort of thing. A lot of people ask me how I got into teaching.  Yes, as an undergrad I originally majored in secondary social studies education.  My goal: high school history teacher.  I had a series of fantastic history teachers in high school that turned a subject I truly hated (and failed a few quarters of) into a passion of mine. Then my senior year of college hit.  I had a ton of education classes under my belt but it made me more cynical of the system than motivate me to learn.  In one class, the professor said that we should encourage gr...

I would never call myself a "morning person."  Don't get me wrong.  I tend to function the best in the morning in that I am much more productive at that time of day.  However, I think that is because by the end of the day I am so damn tired regardless of what I do. Years ago when I first started teaching, I was always given 8am classes.  Why?  Because no full-timer in their right mind is willing to teach that early.  The best and brightest students go for the post-9:30am classes.  This means, the 8am classes are the last to fill and the students who do fill it are the least motivated ones out there.  Namely, they were too lazy to register in advance which means they got stuck with the only class still open: the 8am one.  Even when I was a student I avoided that time slot like the plague.  However, my Russian classes were only held at that time and it was a three day a week class.  8am on a Friday is just pure evil.  An 8am Ru...

The fall semester starts up again in just over a week.  I just looked at the rosters at both colleges and all of my classes look like they are going to run.  One only has single digits in it but it is at an extension campus.  This is a new initiative by the college and as they are really struggling with attendance--all colleges seem to be--they are going to have it run with even a small handful.  I do not mind at all.  It means less papers to grade, a shorter commute, and a larger paycheck The only thing is that this will be a Semester From Hell.  What do I mean?  Well... Three classes at Inner-City College Three classes at Rural College Two graduate classes - While they are online that is still a lot of work An internship that takes up two full days a well The thing is, I am actually looking forward to it.  Insane, right? I have been in a serious funk the past month.  Even Bear commented that I have been really negative lately. ...

My life has been hell since October.  Between teaching, grad school, and family issues, I had been looking forward to a relaxing summer.  No grad courses this summer and my teaching load was light enough that I really didn't have to do much work.  I planned many days at the pool, getting my house organized, and my entire list of fall courses fully prepped. Then life happened. Doesn't it always? A lot of it occurred with my dad passing away in May.  I worked in hospice as a social work intern for a year so I know what grief can do.  What I went through was "normal."  He was a good man who I loved dearly so I knew grieving was going to be a part of the equation.  However, I always forget the "mom factor." Now there is one thing you should know about my mother.  While it was never an official diagnosis, I swear that she has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.  If you don't know what it is, you should look it up.  It's quite interesti...

My father passed away on May 13th due to congestive heart failure.  It was expected but it was still a surprise.  I was going to visit them anyways--I knew my dad's time was limited due to his condition--but I missed him by two days.  I was going to fly down on the 15th. I am torn in so many different directions. I feel so much guilt as I missed seeing him by two days.  I was supposed to see them in March but my depression got so severe that I had to go into Intensive Outpatient Program for treatment.  Thus, that trip was postponed until May.  Now I really regret postponing trip, especially since I hadn't seen him since last July.  My dad was my best friend and I did not even get a chance to say goodbye to him. On the other hand, I wonder if this was something that my father planned.  Let me explain: after working for over a year in hospice as a social work intern, I learned that people can have somewhat of a say when they depart.  So m...