Grading Hell (Fall 2008 Version), Part I
Every semester I think I've had the worst students that have ever existed. The next semester, I always get ones that are worse.
I'm going through drafts for term papers and my head hurts beyond belief. I'm not a drinker but yesterday I contemplated stopping at the liquor store to get some wine to help me through the grading. Ya, it's that painful. It's not the bad writing. That I can live with. It's not the fact that my students don't realize that "cuz" and other text message slang words are not appropriate in a term paper. It's that the idiots can't follow instructions. What is so difficult about listing five sources in your bibliography? And I'm sorry, when I mean no more than two internet sources I mean no more than two internet sources. I'm not willing to negotiate with you. If I want you to use Chicago Style citation in your paper and I even give you a "quick guide" on how to do it, I expect you to do it. Oh you're surprised I took points off? Well look at the instructions. What does it say? Ah yes, "I will take points off if citation is not done properly." What a bunch of fucking idiots.
One of my colleagues told me a story about how one teacher was so frustrated that his students wouldn't follow instructions that on the test, in the middle of a long paragraph of instructions, it said "sign your name and you will automatically get a 100 on this test." Lo and behold, only a handful of students did that while the rest of the class failed. I am so tempted to do that.
I did start the "the final drop date is approaching" lecture this week. Basically it's the you're failing now and unless you pull your act together you will fail my class talk with the "but it's not to late to drop the class" part thrown in. Maybe some of my students will heed the not-so-subtle advice and drop. Hmmm. Maybe I need a nice catchy chant to go along with this. That's it. Instead of "drill baby, drill" I'll start chanting "drop baby, drop!" :)
On a lighter note, in my current events class I just finished grading their test. One student said that she considers the Democrat party to be the party she mostly affiliates herself with. Why? Well they are against capital punishment and "I think torture would be best....rapist should have their penis cut off." Oh boy. I'm keeping an eye on that one.
I'm going through drafts for term papers and my head hurts beyond belief. I'm not a drinker but yesterday I contemplated stopping at the liquor store to get some wine to help me through the grading. Ya, it's that painful. It's not the bad writing. That I can live with. It's not the fact that my students don't realize that "cuz" and other text message slang words are not appropriate in a term paper. It's that the idiots can't follow instructions. What is so difficult about listing five sources in your bibliography? And I'm sorry, when I mean no more than two internet sources I mean no more than two internet sources. I'm not willing to negotiate with you. If I want you to use Chicago Style citation in your paper and I even give you a "quick guide" on how to do it, I expect you to do it. Oh you're surprised I took points off? Well look at the instructions. What does it say? Ah yes, "I will take points off if citation is not done properly." What a bunch of fucking idiots.
One of my colleagues told me a story about how one teacher was so frustrated that his students wouldn't follow instructions that on the test, in the middle of a long paragraph of instructions, it said "sign your name and you will automatically get a 100 on this test." Lo and behold, only a handful of students did that while the rest of the class failed. I am so tempted to do that.
I did start the "the final drop date is approaching" lecture this week. Basically it's the you're failing now and unless you pull your act together you will fail my class talk with the "but it's not to late to drop the class" part thrown in. Maybe some of my students will heed the not-so-subtle advice and drop. Hmmm. Maybe I need a nice catchy chant to go along with this. That's it. Instead of "drill baby, drill" I'll start chanting "drop baby, drop!" :)
On a lighter note, in my current events class I just finished grading their test. One student said that she considers the Democrat party to be the party she mostly affiliates herself with. Why? Well they are against capital punishment and "I think torture would be best....rapist should have their penis cut off." Oh boy. I'm keeping an eye on that one.
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