Die with a T
I only made one New Year's resolution: to take better care of myself. That might seem too general to most people but I hate saying "I must exercise 30 minutes a day" type of junk. Rather, I prefer things that are much more achievable. Even if I only do one thing that is good for me, it is something. One of the big foci for me this year is my health.
I had a scare back in December that reminded me that I'm not a youngin' any more. I saw a ton of doctors and had a hell of a lot of tests done. Guess what? I am surprisingly healthy considering my weight. No diabetes, no high cholesterol, no nothing. The pain in my chest? Pinched nerve. Shortness of breath? Deconditioning. While I wish I hadn't gone through it in the first place, I look at it like a good swift kick in the ass. I think the Fates do this to all of us at one point or another. My last good one was a real life-threatening event I had a bunch of years ago that helped put me in a more proactive role with my mental health. Now I think it's time to take a more proactive role with my physical health.
For the past 10+ years I had been working on my mental health which meant taking series after series of antidepressants. Unfortunately, most of them cause weight gain. A lot of it. For years I was of the belief that it was better to be fat and happy rather than skinny and suicidal. However, as I'm getting closer to my 40th birthday (*cringe*) I realize that mentality will only get me so far. Now I have to focus on getting rid of all the weight I gained. To be honest, it has occurred over the course of 10+ years and for a long time I was of the belief that I could lose it easily. However, it has added up to a large amount. To be precise, I've gained over 130 pounds.
I did get my doctors' approval to start a new "wellness plan." However, the problem is finding the means of doing it that won't tire me out, stress me out, or frustrate me completely. With my crazy life, I can't push myself too much.
My one main focus is changing my eating habits. One of the things that always bothered me is that people always assume I gained weight because I eat a lot of food. You know the whole "maybe if she stopped eating so much she would lose the weight" type of bullshit. Ha! I wish it was that. Unfortunately my problem is two-fold. One, the antidepressants screwed up my metabolism (common side-effect that I'm stuck with). Two, if anything I don't eat enough food! I literally forget to eat sometimes, especially when things get crazy at school. And to be honest, some of the food I do eat isn't especially healthy.
So how do I fix this? This is going to be the hardest part on my end but I know how to attack it: seeing a nutritionist and going to Weight Watchers. I've literally done all of the "major" dieting scams (e.g., Jenny Craig, South Beach). The only one that ever worked for me was Weight Watchers. Why? They teach me how to eat properly instead of starving myself or eating pre-packaged food. As for the nutritionist, I have some bizarre medical conditions and need to make sure I'm eating the appropriate foods to help keep my energy levels going. I've already seen the nutritionist and I just signed up today for WW (online not the meetings...I hate meetings).
The next step, which I am currently researching, is finding a good gym. This isn't easy especially since I live in west bumfuck. There are two things I'm looking for: price and the availability of personal trainers. I know the latter is a huge expense but I need to adjust my "gym mentality." Before I got sick and gained all the weight I used to work out seven days a week (either at the gym or skating). I can't go back to that level of intensity. Hell, I can't walk up a flight of stairs without being out of breath. Also, I have way too many bad joints--from both the weight and too many years of playing ice hockey. I need to ease my way back into shape. A 45-minute cardio class would probably give me a real heart attack.
I will let you know how all of it goes.
I had a scare back in December that reminded me that I'm not a youngin' any more. I saw a ton of doctors and had a hell of a lot of tests done. Guess what? I am surprisingly healthy considering my weight. No diabetes, no high cholesterol, no nothing. The pain in my chest? Pinched nerve. Shortness of breath? Deconditioning. While I wish I hadn't gone through it in the first place, I look at it like a good swift kick in the ass. I think the Fates do this to all of us at one point or another. My last good one was a real life-threatening event I had a bunch of years ago that helped put me in a more proactive role with my mental health. Now I think it's time to take a more proactive role with my physical health.
For the past 10+ years I had been working on my mental health which meant taking series after series of antidepressants. Unfortunately, most of them cause weight gain. A lot of it. For years I was of the belief that it was better to be fat and happy rather than skinny and suicidal. However, as I'm getting closer to my 40th birthday (*cringe*) I realize that mentality will only get me so far. Now I have to focus on getting rid of all the weight I gained. To be honest, it has occurred over the course of 10+ years and for a long time I was of the belief that I could lose it easily. However, it has added up to a large amount. To be precise, I've gained over 130 pounds.
I did get my doctors' approval to start a new "wellness plan." However, the problem is finding the means of doing it that won't tire me out, stress me out, or frustrate me completely. With my crazy life, I can't push myself too much.
My one main focus is changing my eating habits. One of the things that always bothered me is that people always assume I gained weight because I eat a lot of food. You know the whole "maybe if she stopped eating so much she would lose the weight" type of bullshit. Ha! I wish it was that. Unfortunately my problem is two-fold. One, the antidepressants screwed up my metabolism (common side-effect that I'm stuck with). Two, if anything I don't eat enough food! I literally forget to eat sometimes, especially when things get crazy at school. And to be honest, some of the food I do eat isn't especially healthy.
So how do I fix this? This is going to be the hardest part on my end but I know how to attack it: seeing a nutritionist and going to Weight Watchers. I've literally done all of the "major" dieting scams (e.g., Jenny Craig, South Beach). The only one that ever worked for me was Weight Watchers. Why? They teach me how to eat properly instead of starving myself or eating pre-packaged food. As for the nutritionist, I have some bizarre medical conditions and need to make sure I'm eating the appropriate foods to help keep my energy levels going. I've already seen the nutritionist and I just signed up today for WW (online not the meetings...I hate meetings).
The next step, which I am currently researching, is finding a good gym. This isn't easy especially since I live in west bumfuck. There are two things I'm looking for: price and the availability of personal trainers. I know the latter is a huge expense but I need to adjust my "gym mentality." Before I got sick and gained all the weight I used to work out seven days a week (either at the gym or skating). I can't go back to that level of intensity. Hell, I can't walk up a flight of stairs without being out of breath. Also, I have way too many bad joints--from both the weight and too many years of playing ice hockey. I need to ease my way back into shape. A 45-minute cardio class would probably give me a real heart attack.
I will let you know how all of it goes.
Comments
My son G is on a plethora of things that OUGHT to make him extremely obese. He is actually underweight. I tell him it's time to leave the table after TEN pieces of french toast (with sugar!), scrambled eggs, an orange, a half a candy bar, and a bowl of cereal with a glass of milk.
The doctors CANNOT figure out why he doesn't gain weight. At just under 6 ft 2, he weighs 150-something. Usually on his medication a large problem is MORBID OBESITY.
All that to say that I understand that food does NOT NECESSARILY equal weight gain or vice versa. Some people need to shut up. Oh! Specially some of these medical people who take my son aside and ask if his mom feeds him enough. He's autistic and doesn't understand these *ahem* social clues. If it's been more than an hour since his last meal, he'll say NO, he is HUNGRY, and can he eat something?
I feel like I need to cover my butt sometimes with this boy and get a notorized signature each time he picks up a fork. :)