Some Days It Seems...
...that I never get a chance to fully relax. Don't get me wrong. I'm finally getting some breathing room today but all of last week and all of this upcoming week are full to the brim. With what? Doctors appointments. Joy. The summer always seems to be the time when I have to do my annual appointments with the various doctors plus add in all of the health issues I've had in the past few months. Literally every week day, it seems, is devoted to health care.
Some good news: I had the upper GI series last week and that looked pretty clear. No stricture. Yay! The process itself was rather nasty though as I had to drink this gods-awful stuff. It wasn't barium. That was the second liquid I had to drink. This stuff was clear and was designed to show any leaks in my stomach. Nasty, nasty, nasty. The barium, in comparison, wasn't so bad and I got to watch it travel down my esophagus into my stomach, which was kind of cool. I did find out I have really bad reflux though.
I also saw my gastroenterologist this week. He explained to me that many of my symptoms were common with WLS patients. This was a bit of a shock to me as nobody, including my surgeon, had told me this. Hell, if I had known that I would constantly be nauseous I doubt I ever would've done the damn thing. The whole purpose of it was to improve the quality of my life, not make it worse. Still, the doc is going to do a slew of tests just in case. I have an endoscopy scheduled for later next month just to make sure there aren't any ulcers or bad things going on in my stomach that would be causing the nausea besides the obvious suspect (the surgery).
On one of the forums I belong to one woman said that it took a good 6-7 months before her stomach was back to relative normal. If someone had told me that then I guess I wouldn't be so freaked out. When I had my knee replacement surgery I was told I would regret having it done until the six month mark and then I would be thankful. I knew that if I could hold out to six months things would be cool, and they were. However, this two month mark seems very arbitrary to me as not everybody recovers the same. If someone would tell me that this was normal and that it will eventually get better then I could live with things.
I am going to see my nutritionist tomorrow to see what I can find that would be tolerable to my tummy. She'll look at my food diary and freak out when she sees all the carbs I've been eating--she's really big on low-carb diets but I don't throw those up--but at least I some how manage to get in the required 60g of protein a day. I don't know what I would do if it wasn't for the protein shake I have every morning. Oh, and most protein shakes are nasty by the way.
Bear is also trying to get me to experiment with foods. I think he literally wants to tell the nutritionist to "fuck off, look what you're doing to my wife!" He wants me to stop focusing on protein and instead find foods I can eat without getting sick. It's a good idea but I'm the guinea pig here and I'm not so sure I want to experiment with my stomach as throwing up is never fun. However, I'm getting incredibly sick of Greek yogurt, something I never liked to begin with, so I'm willing to try.
To make matters worse--yes, it does get worse--my depression is so bad that I think I'm having another major depressive episode. Another thing nobody told me about that I found out after the fact is that depression is very common post-WLS surgery. Someone was trying to explain it to me that you store hormones in your fat so when you lose a lot of weight, the hormones are released into your system. I'm not so sure about that but I do know that my depression has been severe since late March. My psychiatrist took me off Lexapro, which I was on since it first came out, as it no longer was effective in treating my depression. I did Viibryd for about two weeks but that stuff was evil. Brain zaps, even worse nausea and diarrhea...ugh. No thanks. However, as it seems I've literally been on every single anti-depressant since I got sick back in 1997 my doc was at a bit of a loss. So, we're going back to square one with Prozac. Now I don't know if you know anybody who has ever done as switch over of meds but it's not fun. Besides the withdrawal effect of coming off the old medicine, you have to wait to see if the new medication is going to work and with no side effects. Anti-depressants are really a hit-or-miss thing. Viibryd was clearly a miss. So far, after being on Prozac for two weeks I don't have any serious side effects but I'm not Happy Cat just yet. I'm not sure this one is going to work for me or not. I'll give it a few more weeks.
On top of that, I somehow have developed a compression on my ulnar nerve in my arm. What does that mean? The outside of my left hand is completely numb. There's nothing that can be done about it right now as my orthopedic is playing a wait-and-see game. You know how hard it is to type with a numb pinky and ring finger?
There are other things going on as well but I've rambled on too much for now.
And people wonder why I just want to crawl under the covers and say a big "fuck you" to the world right now...
Some good news: I had the upper GI series last week and that looked pretty clear. No stricture. Yay! The process itself was rather nasty though as I had to drink this gods-awful stuff. It wasn't barium. That was the second liquid I had to drink. This stuff was clear and was designed to show any leaks in my stomach. Nasty, nasty, nasty. The barium, in comparison, wasn't so bad and I got to watch it travel down my esophagus into my stomach, which was kind of cool. I did find out I have really bad reflux though.
I also saw my gastroenterologist this week. He explained to me that many of my symptoms were common with WLS patients. This was a bit of a shock to me as nobody, including my surgeon, had told me this. Hell, if I had known that I would constantly be nauseous I doubt I ever would've done the damn thing. The whole purpose of it was to improve the quality of my life, not make it worse. Still, the doc is going to do a slew of tests just in case. I have an endoscopy scheduled for later next month just to make sure there aren't any ulcers or bad things going on in my stomach that would be causing the nausea besides the obvious suspect (the surgery).
On one of the forums I belong to one woman said that it took a good 6-7 months before her stomach was back to relative normal. If someone had told me that then I guess I wouldn't be so freaked out. When I had my knee replacement surgery I was told I would regret having it done until the six month mark and then I would be thankful. I knew that if I could hold out to six months things would be cool, and they were. However, this two month mark seems very arbitrary to me as not everybody recovers the same. If someone would tell me that this was normal and that it will eventually get better then I could live with things.
I am going to see my nutritionist tomorrow to see what I can find that would be tolerable to my tummy. She'll look at my food diary and freak out when she sees all the carbs I've been eating--she's really big on low-carb diets but I don't throw those up--but at least I some how manage to get in the required 60g of protein a day. I don't know what I would do if it wasn't for the protein shake I have every morning. Oh, and most protein shakes are nasty by the way.
Bear is also trying to get me to experiment with foods. I think he literally wants to tell the nutritionist to "fuck off, look what you're doing to my wife!" He wants me to stop focusing on protein and instead find foods I can eat without getting sick. It's a good idea but I'm the guinea pig here and I'm not so sure I want to experiment with my stomach as throwing up is never fun. However, I'm getting incredibly sick of Greek yogurt, something I never liked to begin with, so I'm willing to try.
To make matters worse--yes, it does get worse--my depression is so bad that I think I'm having another major depressive episode. Another thing nobody told me about that I found out after the fact is that depression is very common post-WLS surgery. Someone was trying to explain it to me that you store hormones in your fat so when you lose a lot of weight, the hormones are released into your system. I'm not so sure about that but I do know that my depression has been severe since late March. My psychiatrist took me off Lexapro, which I was on since it first came out, as it no longer was effective in treating my depression. I did Viibryd for about two weeks but that stuff was evil. Brain zaps, even worse nausea and diarrhea...ugh. No thanks. However, as it seems I've literally been on every single anti-depressant since I got sick back in 1997 my doc was at a bit of a loss. So, we're going back to square one with Prozac. Now I don't know if you know anybody who has ever done as switch over of meds but it's not fun. Besides the withdrawal effect of coming off the old medicine, you have to wait to see if the new medication is going to work and with no side effects. Anti-depressants are really a hit-or-miss thing. Viibryd was clearly a miss. So far, after being on Prozac for two weeks I don't have any serious side effects but I'm not Happy Cat just yet. I'm not sure this one is going to work for me or not. I'll give it a few more weeks.
On top of that, I somehow have developed a compression on my ulnar nerve in my arm. What does that mean? The outside of my left hand is completely numb. There's nothing that can be done about it right now as my orthopedic is playing a wait-and-see game. You know how hard it is to type with a numb pinky and ring finger?
There are other things going on as well but I've rambled on too much for now.
And people wonder why I just want to crawl under the covers and say a big "fuck you" to the world right now...
Comments
I did want to mention that while I haven't had WLS, I have been having some major food issues of my own. Two books helped me and you might find some help in one of them. The first is The Diet Cure by Julia Ross, the second is The Mood Cure by Julia as well. There is a lot of overlapping information. While my diet hasn't resulted in the weight I prefer, it has helped a lot with my depression/anxiety and fatigue.